


Want You How?

by littledemon66



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Based on a text post, Dirty Talk, M/M, Sexual Tension, Superheroes, Swearing, Tasers, Teasing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, YES this is my first time writing anything remotely sexual, chaos is super confident and flirty, im sure its obvious, its not really specific but just know they're older now, ive said it before but its not a south park fic without cursing, lots of headcanons, lots of tension, mysterion just wants to do his job and save people, never forget mysterion is still kenny on the inside, they're in their late teens or early 20s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:54:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25973233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littledemon66/pseuds/littledemon66
Summary: Mysterion gets an anonymous tip that Professor Chaos is up to something so he goes to check it out.
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Mysterion/Professor Chaos (South Park)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 136





	Want You How?

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written anything somewhat sexual before so,,,,, this is my first attempt. Probably super obvious that it's my first time writing something like this lmao
> 
> Based on this text post: https://instagram.com/p/CDbgibsgfxk/media?size=l

Mysterion ran past the abandoned warehouse, looking for the specified location. About an hour ago, the police had received an anonymous tip that Professor Chaos was planning something big. The hero had been notified as soon as the tip came in, police urging him to go investigate. The tip had said Chaos was setting something up by an old factory that had gone out of business decades ago. He wasn’t sure if this was the villain’s hideout, but judging by how far away the location was from prying eyes, it seemed very likely.

There was a clearing up ahead, so Mysterion slowed to a stop. He kept to the shadows, hiding behind a wall. From his position, he could clearly see what was in front of him. It was an empty area except for a closed wooden crate. Suspicious, Mysterion thought, but not as suspicious as the fact it was laying out in the open. Normally there would be guards surrounding something like that. Unless it was a trap for him? Either that box was a trap, not important to Chaos, or Mysterion showed up while the guards were conveniently away.

Regardless, Mysterion was sent here on a mission to stop whatever Chaos was planning. If there was even the slightest chance that that crate may hold something dangerous, Mysterion knew he had to check it. But he was well aware that it might be a trap. He pulled the gun from its holster and held it in his hand. If it did turn out to be a trap or guards came to apprehend him, he would need it for defense.

Carefully scanning the area again to double check for guards, Mysterion left the safety of the wall’s shadow. He kept his gun hidden from sight, hiding it behind his cape. He walked up to the crate, staying on high alert. He leaned over to inspect it but before he could take a closer look, Mysterion heard a gunshot go off behind him.

Mysterion ran past the crate and pushed himself up against the wall, away from any hiding snipers. That shot was definitely meant for him. It sounded like it came from nearby, confirming that the crate was a trap after all. So Chaos  _ knew _ that he was here. He would need to be more careful when navigating the area. If this really was Chaos’ base, he would know the ins and outs of the place. He shoved his gun back in his holster. If Mysterion was on enemy ground, he was already at a disadvantage.

As Mysterion made his way through the area with the shadows, he heard a few more gunshots to his right. He carefully came up to the edge of the wall and peeked around the corner. There were about five guards standing dutifully in front of a pathway. If he strained his ears, Mysterion could just barely make out a conversation.

“—shoot for?” One of the guards said loudly. “... nothing there!”

“No… saw something.” Another guard responded.

Mysterion couldn’t hear all of the conversation, only bits and pieces, but what he could understand is that one of the guards was a little trigger happy. Unfortunately, that meant he probably couldn’t go straight anymore. The odds of five against one were already bad enough without a trigger happy guard being thrown into the mix.

He backed away silently, not wanting to alert the guards of his presence. If he couldn’t go that way, the only way he could go was through the narrow passage between two storage containers. It was risky, but unless he wanted to be shot full of holes, it was his only option. He had to be quick though. If any guards caught him there, he would have nowhere to escape.

Before he moved, he listened closely. The only footsteps he heard were from the guards around the corner. Sensing that it was safe, Mysterion ran. It was a tight fit, but he was able to squeeze into the gap between the containers. He shuffled to the left, going as fast as he could while also staying silent. He made it to the other side, but stayed pressed up against the containers for a moment. He scouted the area, not seeing any guards around.

Then he heard footsteps. Mysterion pulled himself out of the gap and bolted to the shadows next to a wall. He hid behind the wall, waiting for the footsteps to pass. But then the steps stopped. Mysterion waited with bated breath for the guard to leave.

“Mysterion?” He heard someone whisper. “It’s Officer Stevenson.”

Mysterion paused. Officer Nathaniel Stevenson had been going undercover as one of Chaos’ minions to help the police keep the villain at bay for a few months. He must have been the one to send in the tip to the police.

“What’s the situation?” Mysterion asked in his purposefully gravelly voice, coming out of the shadows. “Why did you send in the tip?”

“Chaos has enough explosives stored to blow up the entire city.” Officer Stevenson said quickly. “I heard that he was planning on planting them later tonight.”

“Do you know where the explosives are?” Mysterion asked quietly. If he could find and confiscate them before they were planted, he could save the town.

“There’s a warehouse Chaos uses as storage. If there’s anywhere it could be, it’s there.” Officer Stevenson looked nervous for some reason.

Mysterion nodded curtly, looking around to make sure no one else saw him. He let the officer walk ahead while he followed in the shadows. The hero followed the officer for a while until he stopped in front of a small warehouse. Officer Stevenson knocked on the door three times, and when there was no answer, he opened the door. He motioned for Mysterion to go in first, so he obliged. The room was pitch dark and he couldn’t see a thing.

Mysterion went inside, Officer Stevenson coming in right behind him. The officer shut the door behind them and fumbled for the lights, turning them on. Mysterion blinked rapidly, eyes needing a moment to adjust to the sudden light.

There in front of him was Professor Chaos himself. He was wearing his regular costume: a tight black skinsuit, his signature green cape, silver helmet (which covered neither his blond hair nor his face), and an eyepatch over his left eye. He was standing in the room alone and there were only a few pieces of furniture scattered around.

“Mysterion! How nice of you to finally show up!” Chaos said playfully. “Thank you, Nathaniel. That’ll be all.”

Mysterion’s head snapped over Officer Stevenson. The police force’s own undercover agent betrayed him? Had he actually switched sides?

“He has my little sister.” Officer Stevenson said lowly. He was actively avoiding Mysterion’s glare. “I’m really sorry.”

The officer opened the door and left, locking it from the inside. The heat from being betrayed subsided and was replaced with sympathy. Mysterion, as a citizen, had a younger sister as well. He probably would have done the same thing if he was given the choice.

“What did you do to his sister?” Mysterion asked the villain angrily.

“Oh, I haven’t done anything! And I won’t do anything since he did what I asked him to.” Chaos spoke casually, as if he was talking about the weather.

“And what exactly did you ask him to do?” Mysterion pressed.

“Just send in an anonymous tip.” Chaos sighed dramatically. “I haven’t seen your pretty face in over a week! Is it that bad that I wanted to see you again?”

“You’re fucking crazy.” Mysterion said plainly. Chaos sent in a tip through their agent just to see him again? “How did you know he was with the police?”

“Please, it was obvious.” Chaos rolled his eyes, looking offended. “New guy shows up and I start getting caught? I’m not stupid, love.”

“Don’t call me that,  _ villain _ .” Mysterion sneered. For some reason, Chaos was extremely flirty towards him. The villain was definitely a sight for sore eyes, but he was still a villain.

“Aw, are you getting worked up?” Chaos giggled. “You’re real cute when you’re mad. Well, not to worry. I’ve got a date coming up this week and I’m not a cheater. If things go well, I won’t treat you nicely at all. Hell, maybe I won’t even give you the time of day!”

“A date?” Mysterion laughed. “Who would date your conniving ass?”

“I’ll have you know that he’s a great guy!” Chaos said stubbornly. “But don’t think I’ll be stepping down from causing chaos!”

Mysterion kept the relief off of his face. Assuming that Chaos was telling the truth (he hardly lied to him, surprisingly), that meant that the villain would be off the streets for the week. He’d never tell Chaos, but Mysterion actually had a date this week as well. A few days ago, he grew the balls to ask his childhood friend Butters (a nickname that he’d had since they were kids) out for a date. Now that Chaos would be out of his hair for the week, Mysterion could go on the date without having to worry about cutting it short.

“Can’t wait to see how fast you come running back to me after the guy finds out who you really are.” Mysterion subtly placed his hand on his holster. Chaos was unpredictable with his movements, so it was best to be prepared.

Chaos pouted childishly, a gesture that was uncharacteristically cute and  _ extremely _ familiar. God, Chaos had always seemed familiar to Mysterion. Something about the way he looked and acted when taken aback was so familiar to him. He just couldn’t place his finger on it, but he knew he recognized the villain.

“Now that’s not very nice.” Chaos crossed his arms. “Buuuut, at least now I know you  _ want _ me to come crawling back.”

“Better you bother me than some innocent, unfortunate soul.” Mysterion pulled his gun out and aimed it at Chaos. “Now stand down and don’t move.”

“I missed this a whole lot, y’know?” Chaos put both of his hands up in surrender. “You look so hot holding that gun.”

“Shut the fuck up, Chaos.” Mysterion growled. “On your knees.”

“On my knees? I knew you’d be into that.” Chaos got onto his knees with a self-satisfied smirk. “Now this is a position I’ve wanted to be in for a long time.”

“I told you to shut up.” Mysterion walked closer to Chaos, holding the gun to the villain’s head. He used his free hand to reach for the handcuffs he had strapped next to his holster.

“Handcuffs? You  _ are _ a freak, aren’t you?” Chaos tensed. “You’re lucky I like it freaky.”

“Do you want a bullet in your head?” Mysterion pressed the gun onto Chaos’ forehead.

“Gonna give it to me?” Chaos laughed. Then his face became eerily serious. “Although, you should probably search a guy before you try to cuff him.”

Chaos lunged at Mysterion, knocking the gun away. Mysterion let go of the handcuffs to brace himself. Chaos kicked the hero in the chest, forcing him to take a few steps back. Mysterion’s hand came up to his chest, breath knocked out of him. He turned his head and coughed a few times. When he looked back at Chaos, he had a taser pointed right at him.

“You’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that if you wanna restrain chaos.” Chaos winked. “Night night, Mysterion.”

Mysterion felt a prickling sensation on his chest. Before he could do anything, an electrical surge coursed through his body. He couldn’t even let out an agonized scream as he dropped to the floor. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was Chaos’ boots coming towards him.

~~~~~

When Mysterion regained consciousness, he was sitting in a chair. His hands were tightly tied behind his back so he couldn’t move. Thankfully, his legs were free, but his whole body was sore from being tased. His head was tilted down so when he looked up, he saw Chaos sitting across from him. The villain’s right leg was crossed over his left confidently. When he saw the hero stir, Chaos’ face lit up.

“Rise and shine, darling!” Chaos stood up excitedly. “Sleep well?”

“You fucking tased me.” Mysterion said dryly.

“Well, yes… but you were going to shoot me!” Chaos laughed. Mysterion never made lethal shots and he was sure Chaos knew that. But he didn’t waste his breath to argue that.

“Untie me right now or I swear your death will be slow and painful.” Mysterion threatened.

“It’s unfair how wonderful you look when you’re passed out.” Chaos changed the subject. “While you were out, I was thinking about something. Like, wow, my favorite hero’s right here in front of me. What better to do than him?”

Mysterion just glared at Chaos, not needing to say anything. Chaos huffed in impatience.

“You know what I want.” Chaos put his hands on his hips. “At least, what I want until I score my hot date.”

“If you want me, come and get me.” Mysterion challenged. “But untie me first, you pussy.”

Chaos paused, looking unsure of himself for the first time ever. He took a few steps forward until he was standing right in front of Mysterion. He cupped the hero’s chin with a hand, tilting it up. Mysterion could see the bright blue of the villain’s right eye.

“Want you in which way, love? One of us is going to end up in ropes by the end of night regardless of what you mean. But it’s important you tell me which ‘want’ you’re talking about. I value consent, you know.” Chaos said, eye twinkling with delight.

If anyone else had been in Mysterion’s position, they may have blushed. But he wouldn’t crack. Under the costume, Mysterion was Kenny McCormick, flirting extraordinaire. A few innuendos was nowhere near enough to embarrass him. He’s  _ imagined _ worse than what Chaos was suggesting. Granted, he’s imagined it about the ever naïve Butters, but still. Chaos was a looker, and if he was telling the truth earlier, this would only be a one time thing. They would never talk about it again and they could have their own relationships.

“Thought you weren’t a cheater.” Mysterion said. He was going to beat Chaos at his own game, even if it was the last thing he did. Until he came back to life, that is. Time to turn up the irresistible McCormick charm.

“Oh, I’m not. But I’ve got a first date coming up so I won’t be single for long.” Chaos pressed a finger on the side of Mysterion’s mouth. “What do you say?”

“I say that I refuse to be tied for this.” Mysterion countered. “Untie me and we’ll see where the night goes.”

Chaos blinked a few times in surprise. Mysterion noticed a blush crawl up Chaos’ cheeks. So he could dish it out, but couldn’t take the heat. Too bad for Chaos though, because Mysterion hadn’t even started.

“Finally giving in?” Chaos teased, dropping his hand off of Mysterion’s face and went behind him to untie the ropes.

Once the ropes were undone, Mysterion flexed his hands, regaining control of them. He stood up and turned around to face Chaos.

“About earlier…” Mysterion started. “I’m sure you said you’d be doing me. As if you aren’t an absolute power bottom.”

“Think you can top me?” Chaos raised his head slightly as an unspoken challenge.

“I don’t think I can.” Mysterion backed Chaos up against a wall. Then he slammed his right hand against it, trapping Chaos between him and the wall. “I know I can.”

Mysterion was a few inches taller than Chaos, but right now, it felt like so much more than that. Chaos was looking up at him, cheeks red, with excitement in his uncovered eye. Mysterion felt his body hum with a power rush.

“Yeah?” Chaos asked, voice slightly higher in pitch. Mysterion checked his holster, gun and handcuffs still in their place.

“Yeah.” Mysterion deepened his voice, making the other man shudder. “Look at you. I haven’t even touched you and you’re trembling.”

“What can I say? Your voice does wonders to a guy.” Chaos said. “Gotta say, I might just blow off my date for you.”

“Of course you would. You always want what you can’t have.” Mysterion put his left hand on Chaos’ waist. Chaos jolted as if he had been electrocuted. Ironic.

“Can’t have, huh? You have a special someone waiting for you?” Chaos asked breathily. Butters’ face flashed in Mysterion’s mind.

“Something like that.” Mysterion answered. “And even if I didn’t, you’re a villain. You aren’t even worthy to look at me like that. Like you want me to ravish you.”

“And if I want that?” Chaos slung both of his arms around the back of Mysterion’s neck. “What then?”

Mysterion took Chaos’ hands in his and swiftly flipped him so that the villain was facing the wall. He pressed his body against Chaos’ back, effectively pinning him tightly against the wall. Mysterion easily cuffed Chaos’ hands together behind his back. Then he flipped the other man back around to face him. Chaos’ face was bright red and he was breathing heavily. His pupil had gotten bigger, the blue hue of his eye much less visible. His eye was half lidded in arousal.

It was unfair how good Chaos looked now. Mysterion thought he could get away after just riling him up, but now it felt wrong to just leave.

“You’re staring real hard there.” Chaos laughed.

“I bet that’s not the only thing that’s ‘real hard.’” Mysterion whispered into Chaos’ ear. The villain reddened further.

Well, he’d already come this far. Swearing to never get involved in something like this as long as he was with Butters, Mysterion leaned down and kissed Chaos. It was rough and messy, but it worked. Chaos kissed back eagerly, fighting his restraints. Mysterion pushed Chaos back by the shoulders, pinning them to the wall. Then he pulled away from the kiss.

“Hot damn, if I knew you kissed like that, I would’ve done this way earlier.” Chaos grinned.

“Since this whole anonymous tip was just a trick, I should get going.” Mysterion backed away from Chaos.

“Can’t follow through with those promises?” Chaos’ eye twinkled in the light.

“Neither of us are cheaters, remember?” Mysterion placed a finger under Chaos’ chin and pushed it up.

“For a hero, you’re a total asshole. You don’t just blueball someone.” Chaos said. He tried to break out of his handcuffs.

Mysterion held the key to the cuffs temptingly in front of Chaos. He placed it on the chair that he was previously tied to when he was tased.

“Goodnight, Chaos.” Mysterion winked flirtatiously. “Have fun on your date.”

Mysterion unlocked the door and left the room, ignoring Chaos’ protests. The warehouse was already on the outskirts of the area, so he didn’t have to sneak past any guards. Once he was far enough away, he let himself smile. Chaos was all sorts of fun to mess with.

**Author's Note:**

> I AM LOOKING AWAY >//_//>
> 
> Kudos/comments are always appreciated! Especially on this one since this is my first attempt at anything like this.


End file.
